A monthly subscription to Terrible at Titles can cost less than a latte.
If you enjoy reading my work please consider a paid subscription to access everything.
You can interview me for that job here. Now let’s get to it…
One of the things I've always prided myself on is my parasocial relationship with Keanu Reeves. Selecting Keanu as a special man in my life was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I was about eight years old when I made it. What a wise head I had on my bedungaree'd shoulders.
Much ado about the fact he looked like this in 1993?
Who can say? I can only tell you that I had a picture of him on my wall from a film I wouldn't see for another decade. I still have the picture, because I'm the type of person who frames a pull-out from a magazine, and takes it to university, and brings it back too. I watched the Bill and Ted films many, many times. I dressed up like Ted in long shorts and baggy t-shirts because that's how you show love when you’re eight years old. Here’s also what eight years old looks like: when Bill and Ted meet Future Bill and Future Ted, I thought "Sixty-Nine, Dudes" was funny because it was just... the same number.
Anyway, Keanu turned out to be one of the only good men in the entire world Hollywood, so it went from being a cute thing about me (that I liked the guy with the weird name when all my friends loved Mark Owen), to being a thing I felt weirdly defensive of ("He's a Good Actor!") to something I now revel in with obnoxious glee. I liked him first. Unless you're older than me, and if you are, then I like him better than you. If I'm really honest, it's become this specific badge of honour that I feel retrospectively prophetic about. I picked a good man. I know a good man when I see one. I've never settled for anything less than Keanu-good. Not that I knew about his true goodness when I was carting that picture around with me, but I guess, somehow, maybe I did? The Matrix felt like a vindication of sorts, oh NOW you're interested restoftheworld. How many times have you seen Little Buddha?