What the?! It’s Saturday and I’m straight back into the bookshop, this must be what it feels like to be Business Mum. Oh god, this again! But actually, I’m quite glad to be back here today because it feels like a chance to re-do yesterday, which was so rubbish. I’m here nice and early and I got my coffee and it was free because I had filled all the stamps on my card so I got a big one even though that’s way too much liquid for someone who has to close a whole shop every time they go for a wee.
Here’s the shop all lit up after I locked up last night. Twinkle, twinkle, little bookshop.
You can support my bricks and mortar bookshop by buying your books via this link, and you can support me as a writer by taking out a paid sub to this Substack. Shares, recommendations and restacks are appreciated! Thanks.
First sale of the day (before 10am!) is this 65 million-copy bestseller that remains quite mysterious to me because I refuse to find out what it’s about. People say the author’s name like it’s a single word, and that word is a divine incantation. I don’t want to Google the synopsis because I prefer my version, which is that a magician called paulocoelho decides to dedicate his life and his magical powers to becoming a master mixologist, creating grenadine-based cocktails at a palatial hotel near some pyramids. Something about the orange of the cover just says layers of jammy sugar syrup to me. Am I close?
One of our top remote customers (hi!) sent a bumper order for Christmas presents including great books for teens from Tamsin Winter, Holly Bourne and Laura Wood and books for grown-ups including Holly Smale, Barbara Kingsolver and Maz Evans. The whole order almost matched yesterday’s entire sales figure so it’s 11am and we’re absolutely winning.*
*all other bookshops would actually be HORRIFIED by our sales figures, they are so pitiful in real world business, but that’s our vibe and we’re sticking with it.
Business Mum texts from panto-land to check I’ve remembered to open the door of our advent window display. As if I would forget on only the second day…
*drops everything and runs to window*
A tiny lady in a tall hat comes in to buy some single sheets of wrapping paper and I proceed to BLOW HER MIND by showing her that some of them are double-sided with different designs, so if your gifts are small you can cut the sheets in half and still have a variety! She bought two sheets and paid in cash from two separate envelopes (one for silver, one for gold) and went on her way, enlightened.
Excellent post this morning in the form of this extremely judgy Boy George standee that I can pose for photos with and then hide around the shop to create an interactive Where’s George? experience for visitors. When you find him, you win the chance to …buy his autobiography at the recommended retail price. (I didn’t say it was a good game.)
Oh! My! God! I. LOVE. Bookshops!
said, as they hurried past one
You know when you feel the cold air inside your nose every time you breathe in? That’s how cold it is today. Yes, the door is open and yes, the sheepy waistcoat is on and very cosy my core is too. Really, I just need a sheepskin nose-warmer. Is that a thing?
An excitable father asks me if I think his five year old son is ready to read Harry Potter. I say no.
A customer rings and enquires about a series of increasingly expensive hardbacks, senses my enthusiasm, and ends the call having ordered exactly none of them.
Trying my best to watch the latest Chicken Shop Date on my phone but people keep coming into the shop. However, one person did order this after seeing the author on Saturday Kitchen so that’s probably a useful one to get in at the shop because the modern urge to (convince ourselves we can) fry everything in air is not going away any time soon.
Her: I just have an enquiry about the new Hamilton DVD.
Me: Well, we don’t sell DVDs.
Her: Can you just find out for me if it’s out? On your computer.
Me: *googles* ‘Hamilton DVD’
Her: Is it out? It’s the new one.
Me: *amends Google search* ‘Hamilton DVD it’s the new one’
Her: Oh no wait it isn’t Hamilton… I mean Napoleon.
That’s a nice shop! It’s a book shop… sells books.
Just remembered the very romantic thing my husband said to me this morning before I left for work (Do you want this KitKat?)
I said yes. Better get the kettle on because I’m about to Have a Break™
“You’ve got a voucher for this shop, haven’t you?”
”Yes but I don’t know where it is.”
Another thrilled recipient of a Storytellers, Inc. gift token walks past the bookshop.
A very chic mother and (adult) daughter browse the bookshop in their fantastic coats. The mother selects a book, “You should buy this one for your brother.”
The daughter: “What is it?”
The mother: “Book of the Nerd.”
Savage.
Him: I want to ask you about publishing a book, because I’ve got a really good idea.
Me: Sorry, I’m not a publisher.
Him: Do you know any?
Me, a published author: Nope.
Grandparent: “What was in your advent calendar today?”
Tiny child: “A precious ring.”
Just checked in on our recent Bookshop.Org sales and I can see we’ve taken a few sales yesterday and today, so if you’re reading this and you’ve bought something through my links - thank you so much! Especial thank you to whichever legend among you bought the greatest teen comedy about friendship and running there ever was. I appreciate it.
Someone just said bye as they left the shop and I replied ‘n-night’ ?????
4.25 and I close the door. Well done me for braving it for so long. I wash up my cups just to warm my hands back up.
4.30: Three women stand at the closed door looking confused. I make the international sign for ‘just open the door?’ at them. They come in. “Oh you are open!”
Panto Mum/Fairy Night Star has got just one more performance to go, then it’s back to the bookshop to resume position as Business Mum, that is, until she goes on holiday and becomes Cruise Mum: Winter Edition.
Time to cash up! Hope you haven’t minded getting two Receipts in two days. I’ll be back here next Friday for #24. Paid subs will get my December Selection Box in the meantime. N-night!!
‘The international sign for just open the door’ haha
I was just in a book shop today and over heard this and thought of you:
Mum: why are we in this shop?
Teen daughter: because it is a bookshop.
Mum: (bit sarky) oh because it's a bookshop. Of course.
Lovely having 2 so close together. Thank you.