Hello, it is I, your manic slightly bewildered pixie bookshop dream girl and this is the next update live from the bookshop.
We’re on track for our worst July since records began. Torrential rains and the general bedraggling of our town means people just aren’t coming out to shop IRL. Orders online are ever-so-slightly up (because of this newsletter?! prematurely patting myself on the back here - don’t make me regret it) but Bodies in the Bookshop are Down!… That actually sounds a bit more murderous than I mean it to. Customers, Not Corpses.
If you’re a loyal reader of Terrible at Titles you’ll have heard me explain before why our pitiful turnover doesn’t create quite such an immediate problem for us - the short answer is, we have no staff to pay, so the only people who might not eat are us, and we have other income in our respective households. That said, as it stands, July takings do not cover July bills, which is new, and bad. School summer holidays start today so let’s hope we’ve got an influx of visitors with money to burn exchange for books which are undoubtedly still the best value items one can buy for one approximate tenner. The man in front of me in the coffee shop this morning spent £15 on caffeine water and raisin pastry so let that put the entire work that one novel incurs into perspective.
But I’m not here to rant! The sun is shining! The books are handsome and so are you! These posts will remain free, with comments open so you can send me queries like ‘What book should I buy for a new baby gift?’1 and ‘Can you recommend a novel set during the Restoration?2’
I’ve just noticed that my expensive caffeine water has been leaking from the bottom of my cup. My shirt now has two wet, brown, stains down it. This shirt isn’t just clean on, IT’S THE FIRST TIME I’VE EVER WORN IT. I’m assuming this is a sign the shop will be overrun with customers today, because right now I don’t want it to be.
“You don’t see many bookshops anymore”
Lady at the window, who does not come in.
I’ve got some book post to open this morning. A box of proofs from Pan Macmillan including the forthcoming Nina Stibbe, Went to London, Took the Dog, a modern fairytale from M.G. Leonard, The Ice Children, illustrated by Penny Neville-Lee, a YA fantasy from Kalyn Josephson, This Dark Descent and a sampler of Brian Bilston’s And So This is Christmas. I’ve also been sent a reading copy of Catherine Rayner’s new picture book Victor, The Wolf with Worries, which is, as expected, just gorgeous.
A customer comes in to pick up a replacement copy of a book he purchased two weeks ago. He’d been reading it outside and some disrespectful seagull had the audacity to soil his Little Clothbound Classic! This customer is a collector of these particular editions and I love to imagine the rainbow of clothbound spines he must have on a shelf in his home. I’m glad the stained copy will not spoil his collection.
This situation is notable because readers might remember the customer from Receipt #2 who had to immediately replace a book that had been left outside during a rainstorm, so really the outdoors is starting to sound too dangerous for books overall.
I spy an order for The Wager in our customer order log. I text my mum, excitedly.
Me: Had someone read my review?????
Mum: No. Just a coincidence.
Midday. Still waiting for that influx.
Do you know whose picture books I absolutely adore? Briony May Smith’s. Speaking as someone generally uninterested in both unicorns and mermaids, she’s made books about both that I now think of essential purchases. Her latest, The Mermaid Moon is truly a wonder to behold - the image of Merrin in her sea-shell cove under the water is just mesmerising. But it’s Margaret’s Unicorn that has entered my personal pantheon of exceptional picture books. From Margaret’s envy-inducing outfit, to the stunning landscapes, this book feels like my fantasy come true. As far as I’m concerned, all other unicorns are incorrect. Margaret’s Unicorn is the only unicorn I can entertain.
I love his long curly tail, and soft silvery speckles. I love the slow story of his discovery, and the gentle turnover of time as the unicorn rests with Margaret before being ready to return to the herd. It’s a beautiful text, long and rich enough to tempt slightly older readers - magical enough to dazzle the youngest. A perfect gift for unicorn enthusiasts and unicorn deniers, alike - apparently!
Oh god, the temperature is dropping fast and the wind is picking up. We’re not forecast rain today but it suddenly feels imminent. DON’T DERAIL MY INFLUX.3
I’ve just read a unbound proof of GODFATHER DEATH by Sally Nicholls and Júlia Sardà, sent to me by the kind folks at Andersen Press. If you’re not familiar with Júlia Sardà’s work then you want to do yourself a favour and get acquainted. I love her illustration and this smart re-telling of a Grimm fairytale is the perfect companion to her haunting work. I’d have absolutely loved this book as a child and this gold-foiled edition is going to be a great gift in the autumn. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the ending goes exactly the way you knew it had to - after all, no one can cheat Death!
2pm. Tea and Maltesers. No influx. No outflux. I’m flummoxed.
A customer comes in and tells me she follows me on Twitter X, no wait, she definitely said Twitter, Like everyone will continue to, forever. Anyway, she follows me there. Oh no. What have I said recently? I mean, I barely tweet at all these days, but sometimes I put my dumb stuff there now that I save my considered stuff for here. (Christ, you’re thinking - this is you at your most considered?4) I check back down my tweets while she’s browsing. Mostly just futile links to Substack. Today I tweeted that ‘Opal Fruits is my Cellar Door’. IYKYK. Yesterday I RT’d one of those Roy Keane film reviews. It really is the wasteland now. Anyway, the customer bought a baby book for a new grandchild and now I’m wondering if, in the future, someone will come into the shop and say “I read your Receipts on Substack.” “Thank you!”, I’ll say when they bring their purchase to till. It’s DIY with Jay Blades. “Please.” They’ll say. “…Don’t mention this transaction in your write-up.”
I was just reading about the forthcoming titles from McNally Editions and trying to work out which ones I could order here in the UK. With intel from my pal Will over at Sam Read Books in Grasmere I’ve learned that Dinah Brooke’s Lord Jim at Home is coming from my favs, Daunt Books, in August (with introduction by Ottessa Moshfegh!) and that Elizabeth Mavor’s A Green Equinox will be a Virago Modern Classic in September. Thank goodness for that. I’m ordering a few of the other McNally’s for myself, direct with Sam Read Books because I love to be a customer at other bookshops. I also placed an order with my friend
to support her beautiful online bookshop Shelf Editions. With books, you see, you have to buy it where you see it, even if you actually own a bookshop. I don’t make the bookshop rules. I just abide by them!4pm. The influx hath not fluxed. What the flux? Quite a few customers picked up their orders though, and someone bought two hardback fiction books that they know for a fact they could buy significantly cheaper in the supermarket, so really you cannot ask for more supportive customers. We’re very grateful to everyone who shops with us.
Someone’s just been in to buy a last minute Giraffe, but I’m going to cash up now. An incredibly quiet day and apologies, probably quite a dull dispatch. We’ve sold just 14 books today. Should I admit that? I don’t know. I suppose the point of these letters is to bust the myths that owning a bookshop is romantic, but to be honest, what could be nicer than spending a day, unpestered in a bookshop of your own design?
I know my business partner is reading this (hi Mum) thinking this I’m Glad You’ve Had A Relaxing Day But We’ve Got A Business To Run! But our town really was just empty today (and most of last week) but maybe the visitors are on their way. Maybe they’re just around the corner. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow is another day. And that influx may come yet…
You can support my bricks and mortar bookshop by buying your books via this link, and you can support me as a writer by taking out a paid sub to this Substack. Thanks.
Any of the Chris Haughton board books. Better yet - this little library.
Yes. Restoration.
Said influx too many times and talked myself out of its meaning. Googled it to check I still speak English.
David Carradine voice No, this me at my most masochistic. This is a Kill Bill joke, and not even a good one.
I know it hasn't been the best day for you but I love reading these.
It’s a hard road you travel, but your writing is so worth the journey...