Discover more from Receipt from the Bookshop
Hello! It’s the middle of November which in retail is practically Christmas Eve. I’m joking, of course, but we do have all our Christmas stock out now. Window display is still very much advent calendars because we’ll be selling those until the end of the month at which point we’ll fashion all the leftovers into a giant advent paper man and ceremonially burn him with a mince pie inside as an offering to the festive god (Santa) in exchange for good trade throughout December.
Incredibly pathetic attempt at rain this morning, not even covert rain, more like whispering-behind-your-back rain whose only mission is to stop anyone having sleek hair today. Particularly cruel for all the people leaving the hairdressers next door with their nice new do’s - honestly, it is so faint the only evidence it has rained at all will be that you left the salon looking like an Afghan Hound at Crufts and arrived home looking like the mongrel that’s currently whizzing against the lamppost outside. I know you can’t see him but trust me, his hair is frizzy.
*rolls up sleeves* Shall we sell some books today? Oh god, let’s hope so. *rolls sleeves back down* (bit too cold for that sort of enthusiasm.)*
There’s a few bookshops, aren’t there?
As the sole bookshop in this town, I can only presume they mean generally…globally?
First sale of the day is an advent calendar (Emily Sutton’s High Street) and a Lanka Kade wooden nativity set that my daughter secretly wanted because she felt an affinity with the donkey in it. (She too, has been a donkey with a precious load in her school nativity.) I won’t tell her we’ve sold it.
Next customer buys three Christmas cards to send to Australia. It’s surprising how many of our customers post things to Australia. It seems to be something that’s mentioned much more often than sending things to the US or even the rest of Europe. I don’t really have anything to say about this. I have never posted anything to Australia. I have never been to Australia, but if I ever do, I might make a point of going into a bookshop and buying something and telling the bookseller that I am going to post it to the UK. But then I won’t, because it probably costs a fortune.
Oh dear it’s midday already. I’d better unpack this delivery. Let’s see what’s inside…
Here’s my top pick today - W&N Essentials re-issues of two Laurie Colwin novels - Family Happiness, introduced by Lisa Owens and Another Marvelous Thing, introduced by Caroline O’Donoghue. Look at the little quotes on the fronts from Ann Patchett and Nigella Lawson. Irresistible!!
Customer who only visits St. Annes twice a year says she always makes sure she includes a visit to the bookshop. Her companion asks her how much the book she’s buying is because it’s probably cheaper on Amazon.
Must be nice to have a little bookshop like this. (They don’t come in)
BM texts me to tell me she’s having some nice soup, which reminds me, I’ve got some less-nice-soup in the fridge.
I’ve got a book to collect - I can’t remember what it’s called.
What name is it?
Hannah, but I can’t remember the book.
I Wish I Knew…
That’s it!
…I know.
Next customer is apologetically buying a picture book for an adult and I’m probably terrifyingly enthusiastic about what a great gift this will be. Do you know what happens when you gift an adult a picture book on Christmas Day? They read it, right away! And do you know what happens when you read a picture book as an adult? Your mood almost instantly, vastly, improves because there’s a brief window of time in which you are being cared for so completely - stimulated by beautiful images and colour, engaged by a thoughtful text, perhaps you’re being momentarily transported to a younger version of yourself who remembers reading books like this or perhaps you’re just enjoying being given a gift that feels like a real treat. Books always make great gifts, but I think there’s something deeply special about gifting someone a few moments to be young again. “My husband won’t know why I’ve bought him this,” the customer said, but he will. When he’s read it, he will absolutely know.
Time for a cup of tea while I listen to the relaxing local sounds of… someone threatening to chop someone’s toe off?! A very angry man is screaming at someone that I can’t see. This hidden person is in serious danger of “getting his [swear]-ing toe cut off” and also he should just “[swear] off forever”. I mean yeah, why not [swear] off forever if the alternative is getting your toe chopped off. This is such a strange threat, there simply must be a good backstory but I probably won’t ask…
Old people just love to carry loads of cash around, don’t they? They count out notes from a big wad without a second thought of how visible they are or how dangerous that can be. Don’t they know there are maniacs around who want to cut peoples toes off? “How much is it?!” they say, producing more paper money than I’ve ever held in my life, games of Monopoly included. “£30?” That’s one from the front (of loads of tenners) and one from the back (of loads of twenties). They don’t even bother with fivers. Then they carefully squodge all the rest back into their strange flat wallets and go to the next shop where they use another fresh ten to buy one banana (How much could it cost, Michael?).
Customer collection. We whinge about the rain and our fluffy hair. No money exchanged because she paid at time of order. Not worth reporting, really.
“I’m scared of getting a fat lip” (town is very violent today!!)
“I’m looking for a cookery book by Julius Brown, he writes for the newspaper”
I search ‘Julius Brown’. I find Julia Brown - perhaps?
”No hang on, I’ve just made that up. It’s Roberts.”
Julia Roberts?!
“Julius Roberts.”
The Farm Table - Julia Roberts probably has one of those too, though.
A man is starting intensely through the window into the shop in a non-blinking sort of way. I’m momentarily concerned about my toes. He moves up and down the window, sometimes looking at the display and other times directly at me. The two times I’ve glanced up we’ve caught eyes. Should I wave? I’m writing this so I look busy. I looked again. He’s still staring. I don’t wave. He leaves. Ok, thank you anyway!
A husband convinces his wife to let him buy her an Angela Harding Advent Calendar that she likes and then a father comes in to buy his 20-year-old daughter a Gruffalo Advent Calendar “I know she will just like it.” Everyone gets so sweet and sentimental about advent! Once, BM made me a book advent and she wrapped up all the books in Christmas paper that had my dog on it in a Santa hat. That sounds made up, but it’s true!
A parent to a small child “ooh, we’ll have to go in that book shop!” as they walk past.
Just as I’m about to cash up, a man somehow wearing a padded jacket under a tight leather biker jacket, enters the shop and stares at the shelves. “What are these then? You’ve got lots of them.”
Me: “…. the … books?”
Him: “HA! Yes.”
Oh great, a comedian with hilarious timing (4.45pm).
“Are you…an author?” He asks in a silly voice, and my heart sinks, because yes, yes, I am. I even admit it, though I immediately regret it. He is of course, also an author, also of children’s books. “Are you published?” he asks, I’m afraid I am. “Self-published??” he desperately wants me to be, I can tell. “No, I’m… traditionally published.”
“Yes!” he shrieks, “I’m so glad someone was able to do it!”
4.50pm.
He tells me about how incredibly productive he is, in fact, he roughed out a new story just this morning and then rang a big publisher direct to tell them about it even though he knew that was a risk because they could just ‘steal the idea for themselves!’ Apparently the receptionist wasn’t very helpful. Anyway, I can’t tell you about his story, which I know the entirety of, because you might steal it. Then a nice family came in to actually buy some books and he left saying “Aren’t books great!”
Going home now, in the dark, desperately hoping there isn’t an enthusiastic author waiting to talk to me outside about superhero socks from another dimension. (YOU DIDN’T HEAR THAT FROM ME!!!)
Here’s a photo of the window I took when we locked up last night - ghostly apparition of BM on the left. Have a great weekend everyone, I’ll be back next week!
Normalise buying picturebooks for adults at Christmas I say!
I also really want to know which one your customer bought
Receptionists at big publishers must get the most amazing crazy phone calls! I hope there’s a substack somewhere by a receptionist sharing their day to day interactions.