Hello!
Readers of receipts #22 and #23 know I worked a double while Business Mum was being Panto Mum, and, amazingly, no one unsubscribed because I spammed them with two receipts in two days. I don’t often work two consecutive days in the bookshop because I’m a writer, goddammit, but Christmas is a time for giving and Business Mum has decided to give herself a week off to go on a cruise with Retirement Gran around some European Christmas markets. This means I’m working THE ENTIRE WEEK. ALONE. I’m the Macaulay Culkin of Booksellers!
I’m not going to send a receipt every day; today you’re getting your normal Friday post. But I’ll collate snippets across the other days and send out a bonus round-up at some point as an extra treat for my paid subscribers, who won’t be getting an additional essay next week because I’m here in the bookshop all the flipping time. I hope that’s a decent compromise. Free subscribers, fear not, there’ll still be another full day’s free Receipt next week as well.
If you’ve still got book shopping to do, you’ve still got time to order via this link, which directly supports my independent bookshop. Thanks in advance - I see these orders coming in and I can tell a lot of them are coming from this newsletter now; I appreciate each and every one!!
Snappy start to the sales day - I sell a crocodile hand puppet, and yes I do put it on at the till to test it works. Hullo I’m a crocodile snap snap I love to eat children. Yep, all seems to be in order. £12 please.
Some nice proof packages this week including the new teen novel from the Scottish sensation Elle McNicoll, author of A Kind of Spark and the forthcoming Keedie. I keep meaning to read some of Elle’s books, I hear so many great things - so I’ll make time to sit down with Some Like It Cold which came with a hot chocolate and A HAND-WARMER PACK. A genius inclusion to impress a bookseller with an eternally open shop door. I’ve also received the latest from Elizabeth MacNeal, author of The Doll Factory which is now also on our screens? I haven’t seen it - have you? Her next novel, The Burial Plot will be out in June next year and it sounds incredibly intriguing…
I also received this delicious surprise from the folks at Transworld Publishing who have sent on this sweet letter from Curtis Sittenfeld with some beautiful Biscuiteers (the only iced biscuits that actually taste as good as they look imo). Long-time readers of Terrible at Titles will know I’m a huge fan of Curtis Sittenfeld and Romantic Comedy is one of my top nine books of 2023. I don’t know if you can make out the text on this letter but in it she thanks booksellers for getting Romantic Comedy into the hands of readers via window displays, events and “writing Substacks about Sally and Noah”. Not to jump to conclusions but… this is definitely about me because she read and shared and tweeted about that post and now she’s sending me biscuits.
*holding a recipe book* I think Santa has bought me this book. He hasn’t wrapped it up yet.
A lady comes in to ask about a book that she doesn’t know the author or title of. She’ll know it when she hears it. That the book is about dementia and the writer is a woman is all I’ve got to go on but a quick Google for a recent-ish dementia memoir makes Wendy Mitchell’s Somebody I Used to Know seem a likely bet. It is the very same! Customer is impressed, as is the other lady browsing the shop. Thanks Google for making me look like a wizard.
Browsing lady buys two extremely pleasingly seasonal books; this and this. Mmmm. Themed reading.
A friend of Retirement Gran comes in to tell me that Business Mum just won the big prize draw at her coffee morning group! I text her from the cold.. empty.. bookshop.
To Mum: Sorry to interrupt your afternoon tea on a cruise ship, but you’ve won £100.
Business Mum: Oh no.
A lady marches into the bookshop and directly up to the cookbook shelf, audibly grunts at the book facing outwards, then turns and marches out again. It was actually the same book that Santa has bought for that other lady so maybe there’s a joke in there about Santa also bringing her that book, or perhaps she just hates this cookbook so much she tours bookshops to tut at it in person whenever possible. Oh, life.
How lovely, a paper bag without having to ask for one. Old fashioned service, I love it.
(we charge for plastic!)
Just done that thing where I take a customer order for a book we wouldn’t usually stock and not taken payment at the time of ordering. If it’s something we’d ordinarily stock anyway there’s no problem with people paying when they collect, but every now and again you get asked for something that makes you really hope the customer isn’t going to ditch you with it. Nothing dodgy, just a celebrity memoir that you know is half price in the supermarkets, or a niche craft book - Knitting Ships in Bottles for Dogs of All Sizes, that sort of thing.
10 points if you can guess what flavour my crisps are. The packet is red. The points are worthless.
The best thing about working in a bookshop at Christmas is helping people pick the perfect presents when publishers send you little treats to say thanks for selling their books that year. LJ Ross over at Dark Skies Publishing has blown us away with a box of Gower Cottage brownies to fuel us through Christmas sales so this feels like the perfect opportunity to remind you about her incredibly popular DCI Ryan series, which sells consistently throughout the year in the bookshop. A perfect paperback series to introduce to the mystery fan in your life because there are SO MANY OF THEM you’re set up for the next decadesworth of gifts if they like them.
It’s nice to buy from a local shop instead of Amazon
(look at me feeling so festive I’m sharing the nice comments today)
A customer comes in just as the fire alarm starts blaring. “I haven’t stolen anything!” she yelps. We are all stunned by the VERY LOUD NOISE except a baby in her pram who is asleep. What’s happening! We aren’t having any fire alarm tests today?! I leap outside to see what’s going on in the flats above the shop. A man is stood in the hallway…. testing the fire alarms. “We’ll let you know next time” he says, sheepishly.
Dare I come in or will I end up in the newsletter?
My customers are on to me!
A lady and her daughter bring some books to the till and the young girl places them on the counter. One of them is this. Now, I don’t police what people are buying but in this instance I did check that the parent wasn’t purchasing it for the child. No, no, definitely not. Phew, ok, great, in which case - I think Jodie Comer has signed on for the screen adaptation, won’t that be fab! Phew. Yeah.
4pm and the temperature absolutely plummets. The sky is pink. I’m aware of my feet. Time to break out the hand-warmer. *snap* OMG this is incredible?! It’s like… WARM IN MY HANDS AND NOW MY HANDS ARE WARMED. Does everyone else know about these? Apparently if I boil it I can use it again! There goes my Friday night.
Have a great weekend everyone, thanks for reading. Shares, Restacks and Recommendations are always hugely appreciated. See you next week!
These updates are my favorite.
Gower brownies !!! From my neck of the woods 😻
The lady who runs the company walks through my park all the time !